Visser One

Episode 50: The Journey

Episode 50: The Journey

This speak: Marco’s got all sorts of problems! First, there’s this camera he’s got to snatch from some dude’s apartment that just might have some pics of the team in mid-morph… The only thing standing in his way is one. Tough. Dog. That, and he can’t morph. Why not? Because of all the shrunken-down Helmacrons and Animorphs (and Ax’s!) inside his body! Huh-whaaa? That’s right, the Helmacrons are back, and the rules don’t matter anymore! Will Marco ever get the little people out of his head and find a way to delete those potentially-disastrous pix?? Find out when we review Animorphs book 42: The Journey.

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Episode 49: The Familiar

Episode 49: The Familiar

This speak: Jake is having a tough time being leader of the Animorphs (and the leader of Ax). After yet another gut-wrenching battle with the Yeerks, the team is fragmented and tormented and looking to Jake for guidance, but ol Jakey’s not in the mood. Lucky for him, when he goes to bed that night he wakes up in a world where he’s not the leader of the Animorphs anymore! BUT the world is ruled by the Yeerks and the Animorphs have long-since been defeated. Ruh-roh! Join Jake, alone and confused, as he navigates a hellish future-Earth that’s been dominated by the Yeerks, discovers which of his friends are still alive….and which ones have become controllers… All in an effort to return to the past and abort this nightmare reality. But is there a way for Jake to return to the life he knows and continue the fight? Well there’s like more than ten books left in the series, so I sure hope so! All that and more when we review Animorphs book 41: The Familiar.

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Episode 48: MEGAMORPHS 4: Back to Before

Episode 48: MEGAMORPHS 4: Back to Before

This speak: Jake’s had enough. Enough of the bloody battles. Enough feeling powerless to help. Enough of being an Animorph. So naturally Crayak is all over him ready to pounce, sending in the Drode to offer Jake a way out. But of course, a deal with the devil is no deal at all, and Jake awakes to find the timelines reset and everyone’s memories wiped. And this time, on their way home from the mall one night, 5 kids don’t meet a dying alien. They don’t get the power to morph. And they don’t know they’re being invaded by Yeerks. Relive the beginning of the invasion, and really the beginning of the series, with a dangerous twist that leaves all our teens clueless to what’s going on around them. See how their lives might have played out, if things had happened differently. See what happens when they go back… to before! All that and more in our review of MEGAMORPHS #4: Back to Before!

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Episode 47: The Other

Episode 47: The Other

This speak: Marco witnesses what appears to be footage of an Andalite on television, sending him flying from the coop over to Ax’s scoop. With Ax’s technological advancements they’re able to replay the footage and find out exactly what they’re dealing with here…..an after-school special about the treatment of the differently-abled! But Marco, Ax, and Tobias find way more than they expected roaming the woods when they run into *A BRAND NEW ANDALITE* that wants nothing to do with them. Ol’ Gaffy the Buff Andalite is a man on a mission, struck by disaster now he’s wishin’ to find his friend Mertil in the kitchen eatin’ chicken finger lickin’. Can the Animorphs (and their own pet Andalite Ax) work together with Gafinalin to find his crippled friend Mertil? How exactly will the Yeerks clock-block them this time? And are we all really going to just forget exactly how scummy of a person Ax is revealed to be in this book? It’s like each book that expands on Andalite culture is making them out to be worse and worse. And these are supposed to be the good guys! What the hell is going on here?! All that and more in our review of Animorphs #40: The Other!

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Episode 46: The Hidden

Episode 46: The Hidden

This speak: The hunt is on…for Animorphs, that is! Cassie is enjoying normality one day when Erek busts in and gives her a new mission: Run! It seems the Yeerks have found and repaired some downed Helmacron technology, and now they are able to track the morphing energy the Animorphs emit when they use their powers. Also, the blue cube emits this energy constantly, and now it’s up to Cassie to keep it moving to evade the sudden rush of oncoming Yeerks! Her escape leads her to the Gardens where an encounter with a Cape Buffalo throws a wrench in the mission… and the poor animal gains the ability to morph! Now Cassie and the team have two problems to deal with, and it’s only a matter of time before the Yeerks close in on them and everyone’s too tired to run. Will they get away? And how will they deal with the morph-capable “buffa-human?” The answers lie in our review of Animorphs #39: The Hidden!

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Episode 45: The Arrival

Episode 45: The Arrival

This speak: During a botched mission, Andalite Aristh Aximili (and the Animorphs!) are unexpectedly aided by extra Andalites! Aximili is enthralled with the alluring Estrid, but his Animorph allies are only certainly sceptical. Aximili of course entertains his Andalite allies and adds his aid to their conspicuous cause. When the arguing Animorphs find themselves falling apart, it’s up to Aximili to crack the code on his brave brethren’s bold cold assassination attempt: their terrible target, the dreadly (amiright?) and deadly Andalite V-3! Is it Aximili’s hour of power and glory? Or will it be downfalls and death and the end of the Animorph’s story? Find out! In our review of Animorphs #38: The Arrival!

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Episode 44: The Weakness

Episode 44: The Weakness

This speak: Jake’s outta town or something, so naturally Rachel turns into a power-hungry dictator that takes over the Animorphs (she gets Ax too!) and convinces everyone to go out and just start attacking all the controllers they know about to make Visser Three look bad in front of the bad guy-of-the-week that’s Inspectoring him. So the Rachel-lead Animorphs (she’s still got Ax, too!) hit the town bullying Yeerks and spreading the word that Visser Three and the Yeerks need to leave! Things seem to be going well for the new terrorist group, until Rachel sucks and is stupid and the mission goes off the rails, and we’re left to wonder: where the heck are they going with this book? I won’t spoil it here! You’ll have to listen to our review of Animorphs #37: The Weakness!

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Episode 43: The Mutation

Episode 43: The Mutation

This Speak: Something-something Visser Three, yadda-yadda the ocean, let’s just get to Atlantis already! When the Animorphs go to Atlantis(!), they discover the undiscovered truth about the lost city of Atlantis… which is that it’s not called Atlantis. Actually, it’s “Nartec”. Or at least that’s what the people are called. We never get a name of their “city”, it’s just the land of the Nartec. The lost city of Nartec? That just doesn’t have the same grandiose vibe as Atlantis. Well whatever, the Animorphs find Atlantis, they get outta there, you know how these types of adventures go. Uhh… Ax was there…. And uh, yeah, all that and more! In Book 36, The Animorphs Do Atlantis!

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Episode 42: VISSER

Episode 42: VISSER

Thought-Speak is delighted to invite you to our recap and review of a very special Animorphs offshoot, Visser. Joining the typical lineup of hosts, Mitchell and Coleman, is a brave Animorphs fan and Andalite-tier Patreon subscriber, Richard! After all, such a special book requires a very special extra host! And over the next two hours, we’ll try our damndest to convince you to read this book with our constant adoration and highly-sung praise. We’re not kidding around here folks, this is one of the best Animorphs books and if you haven’t read it yet, you’re doing yourself a disservice. If that’s the case, go read Visser for crying out loud! Then come back and listen to this episode of Thought-Speak! Those are your orders!!

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Episode 27: Animorphs: Hork-Bajir Chronicles

Episode 27: Animorphs: Hork-Bajir Chronicles

This speak: the subtle differences between the hard & soft covers, Coleman’s beef with the Hork-Bajir design, how with equal parts science and Ellimist anything is possible, how the Yeerks are like ISIS, how the Hork-Bajir homeworld doesn’t have a proper name, but even if it did it would probably be something stupid, Aldrea’s unlikely morphing ability, Tribe Trees and Father Deep, a Rick & Morty reference, several Star Wars references, Aldrea’s poor brother Barafin and his bunk habits, why you should not be like the Arn, why the Arn are unbelievable dicks, an unlikely army of mind-controlled monsters, the Andalites continue to disappoint and suck at war, yet another interracial relationship in sci-fi, and the new Hork-Bajir seer means shits about to go down! All that and more in our review of Animorphs:The Hork-Bajir Chronicles.

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Episode 26: The Pretender

Episode 26: The Pretender

This speak: More cover critiques, Tobias gets hawk-blocked, weird unexplained flash-visions plaguing Tobias, the classic soap opera cliche of long-lost relatives showing up, the case of Tobias’s missing clothes, a lovely visit to the Lost Valley of Hork-Bajir for a side mission, the introduction of Toby, a long and drawn-out spying mission, the evolution of conservatism, the coincidences start to get to Coleman, another pre-mission homework cram session, Visser Aria’s awesome acting, Rachel and Tobias finally have that relationship conversation we’ve all been waiting for, and the review that’s sure to upset some fans! All that and more in our review of Animorphs #23, The Pretender.

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Episode 25: The Solution

Episode 25: The Solution

This speak: As usual, we discuss in deep detail, like way too much detail, the cover illustration and the blurb on the back of the book, in-depth character discussions on Rachel and David, how David takes the ‘Michael Meyers’ approach to stalking the team, everyone getting “CHAOS MORPHS”, Visser Tony’s brief cameo this book, our suggestions and ideas for how they could have made David work as an Animorph, the fate of poor cousin Saddler, and of course the poor fate of David, and Coleman’s proposal for a more humane way to end the David situation that would have had David in a much better place. All that and more in our review of Animorphs #22, The Solution.

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Episode 24: The Threat

Episode 24: The Threat

This speak: Another in-depth discussion of the book cover, more talk about how big of a D-bag David is, more character development for Cassie, poor cousin Saddler, Visser Tony’s hologram-ception plot, another mission gone awry, the many deaths of Tobias, and one of our favorite morph-on-morph showdowns in the entire series! All that and more in our review of Animorphs #21, The Threat.

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Episode 23: The Discovery

Episode 23: The Discovery

This speak: We start our review by praising the hell out of this much loved book and by dissecting our new character David, Coleman makes a bold statement right off the gate about David, why getting the Escafil device back matters so much and why the Animorphs need to do whatever it takes to get it back, another visit from Eric is always a nice surprise, how we’re going to lose our Russian listeners, we discuss birds breaking into bedrooms, why the Animorphs waste a bunch of time blundering around trying to steal the blue box back from David, the whole stupid sideplot where they try to stop an email from going out, how stupid Visser Three is, David being a coward, and about a million ways the Animorphs could have done everything in this book better! All that and more in our review of Animorphs #20, The Discovery.

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Episode 22: The Departure

Episode 22: The Departure

This speak: another spoiler-ific book cover, Cassie drops out of the war again, a fresh look at the classic “hero and villain must work together” cliche, conveniently placed leopard attacks, random tangents about long-forgotten movies, a much-needed Yeerk biology lesson covering reproduction, a lot of talk about two girls hanging out in the woods, the Yeerk’s possible fake-Andalite propaganda, conveniently placed caterpillars, someone finally calls Cassie a fool, and the worst deal any Animorph ever made! All that and more in our review of Animorphs #19, The Departure.

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Episode 21: Megamorphs 2: In The Time Of Dinosaurs

Episode 21: Megamorphs 2: In The Time Of Dinosaurs

This week on Thought-Speak: Making fun of the terrible covers, Liz reads the back of the book, the sudden abundance of Sario Rips, we discuss what actors the characters voices might sound like, milking T-rexs, faulty morph technology, Ax adding a T-Rex kill to his list of accomplishments, obvious ominous comets, crafting items from their downed enemies, Craaaaab peeeeoople, prehistoric ant aliens, broccoli’s alien origins, the team’s worst best plan involving Sario Rips, we discuss a much better cover design, dinosaurs fighting alien ants, and whole bunch of other weird crap you’ll only ever hear about in an Animorphs discussion! All that and more in our epic review of Megamorphs #2, In The Time Of Dinosaurs!

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Episode 20: THE DECISION

Episode 20: THE DECISION

This week on Thought-Speak: Making fun of the inside cover flap, Chapman’s road rage, mosquitos! Ax’s Matrix moves, a convenient POP! Is the Ellimist involved? Are there still any ‘coincidences’ in this world? Captain Sam the Andalite traitor, differences between Andalite and Leeran cultures, the hammerhead shark finally makes it into Leeran waters, the Leeran-controller’s only weakness: it’s dangly-brain bits, Marco makes a weird Vietnam reference, and we share some of our own Z-space mass theories! All that and more in our review of Animorphs book 18, “The Decision.”

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Episode 19: THE UNDERGROUND

Episode 19: THE UNDERGROUND

Today on Thought-Speak: Remember Private Thought-Speak? It’s back! Also: another in-depth discussion of the cover! Does this book deserve to be more than just “the oatmeal” book? Planet Hollywood! Coincidences! Continuity! More coincidences! Nuthouses! Building a better tarantula scene! The story of poor, poor George Edelmen! Oatmeal! Rachel’s absence from her own plot! Mole morph! The Underground! All that and more in our review of Animorphs book 17, “The Underground.”

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Episode 18: THE WARNING

Episode 18: THE WARNING

Today on Thought-Speak: An explanation about the most recent hiatus, a revelation about Mitchell and Coleman’s other projects, 90’s internet lingo, more poop humor, infiltrating the WAA! HQ, the best scene with Jake’s family yet, another Animorphs mission gone wrong, lovely Yeerk cannibalism… All that and more in our review of Animorphs book 16, “The Warning.”

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Episode 17: THE ESCAPE

Episode 17: THE ESCAPE

In this episode we’re talking about when the Animorphs lose their innocence, building a better Animorphs video game, offensive parrots, Erek’s under-utilized hologram powers, Coming next fall from the makers of Thought-Speak… Dolphin Rodeo!, Ocean World, #sharkpetting, why the Yeerks need to stop shouting “Andalite!”, SPOILERS for Jaws 3, why this series should have been a little more like Spider-Man, Jake’s magical bully detector, how Tobias started riding Rachel, Marco’s power obsession, Animorphs VS. Predator, Visser 3’s opaque obsession, how another one of Cassie’s plans almost gets everybody killed, convenient brain implants, Visser 3’s giant yellow water snake, and how Jake became Marco’s rageaholic sponsor! All that and more in our review of Animorphs book 15, “The Escape.”

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