Skip to content

Tag: Hawk

Animorphs: The Hork-Bajir Chronicles

This speak: the subtle differences between the hard & soft covers, Coleman’s beef with the Hork-Bajir design, how with equal parts science and Ellimist anything is possible, how the Yeerks are like ISIS, how the Hork-Bajir homeworld doesn’t have a proper name, but even if it did it would probably be something stupid, Aldrea’s unlikely morphing ability, Tribe Trees and Father Deep, a Rick & Morty reference, several Star Wars references, Aldrea’s poor brother Barafin and his bunk habits, why you should not be like the Arn, why the Arn are unbelievable dicks, an unlikely army of mind-controlled monsters, the Andalites continue to disappoint and suck at war, yet another interracial relationship in sci-fi, and the new Hork-Bajir seer means shits about to go down! All that and more in our review of Animorphs:The Hork-Bajir Chronicles.

Leave a Comment

Animorphs: The Pretender

This speak: More cover critiques, Tobias gets hawk-blocked, weird unexplained flash-visions plaguing Tobias, the classic soap opera cliche of long-lost relatives showing up, the case of Tobias’s missing clothes, a lovely visit to the Lost Valley of Hork-Bajir for a side mission, the introduction of Toby, a long and drawn-out spying mission, the evolution of conservatism, the coincidences start to get to Coleman, another pre-mission homework cram session, Visser Aria’s awesome acting, Rachel and Tobias finally have that relationship conversation we’ve all been waiting for, and the review that’s sure to upset some fans! All that and more in our review of Animorphs #23, The Pretender.


Animorphs: The Solution

This speak: As usual, we discuss in deep detail, like way too much detail, the cover illustration and the blurb on the back of the book, in-depth character discussions on Rachel and David, how David takes the ‘Michael Meyers’ approach to stalking the team, everyone getting “CHAOS MORPHS”, Visser Tony’s brief cameo this book, our suggestions and ideas for how they could have made David work as an Animorph, the fate of poor cousin Saddler, and of course the poor fate of David, and Coleman’s proposal for a more humane way to end the David situation that would have had David in a much better place. All that and more in our review of Animorphs #22, The Solution.

Leave a Comment

Animorphs: The Threat

This speak: Another in-depth discussion of the book cover, more talk about how big of a D-bag David is, more character development for Cassie, poor cousin Saddler, Visser Tony’s hologram-ception plot, another mission gone awry, the many deaths of Tobias, and one of our favorite morph-on-morph showdowns in the entire series! All that and more in our review of Animorphs #21, The Threat.

Leave a Comment

Animorphs: The Discovery

This speak: We start our review by praising the hell out of this much loved book and by dissecting our new character David, Coleman makes a bold statement right off the gate about David, why getting the Escafil device back matters so much and why the Animorphs need to do whatever it takes to get it back, another visit from Eric is always a nice surprise, how we’re going to lose our Russian listeners, we discuss birds breaking into bedrooms, why the Animorphs waste a bunch of time blundering around trying to steal the blue box back from David, the whole stupid sideplot where they try to stop an email from going out, how stupid Visser Three is, David being a coward, and about a million ways the Animorphs could have done everything in this book better! All that and more in our review of Animorphs #20, The Discovery.


Animorphs: The Departure

This speak: another spoiler-ific book cover, Cassie drops out of the war again, a fresh look at the classic “hero and villain must work together” cliche, conveniently placed leopard attacks, random tangents about long-forgotten movies, a much-needed Yeerk biology lesson covering reproduction, a lot of talk about two girls hanging out in the woods, the Yeerk’s possible fake-Andalite propaganda, conveniently placed caterpillars, someone finally calls Cassie a fool, and the worst deal any Animorph ever made! All that and more in our review of Animorphs #19, The Departure.

1 Comment

Animorphs: Megamorphs: In The Time Of Dinosaurs

This week on Thought-Speak: Making fun of the terrible covers, Liz reads the back of the book, the sudden abundance of Sario Rips, we discuss what actors the characters voices might sound like, milking T-rexs, faulty morph technology, Ax adding a T-Rex kill to his list of accomplishments, obvious ominous comets, crafting items from their downed enemies, Craaaaab peeeeoople, prehistoric ant aliens, broccoli’s alien origins, the team’s worst best plan involving Sario Rips, we discuss a much better cover design, dinosaurs fighting alien ants, and whole bunch of other weird crap you’ll only ever hear about in an Animorphs discussion! All that and more in our epic review of Megamorphs #2, In The Time Of Dinosaurs!

Leave a Comment

Animorphs: The Decision

This week on Thought-Speak: Making fun of the inside cover flap, Chapman’s road rage, mosquitos! Ax’s Matrix moves, a convenient POP! Is the Ellimist involved? Are there still any ‘coincidences’ in this world? Captain Sam the Andalite traitor, differences between Andalite and Leeran cultures, the hammerhead shark finally makes it into Leeran waters, the Leeran-controller’s only weakness: it’s dangly-brain bits, Marco makes a weird Vietnam reference, and we share some of our own Z-space mass theories! All that and more in our review of Animorphs book 18, “The Decision.”

1 Comment

Animorphs: The Underground

Today on Thought-Speak: Remember Private Thought-Speak? It’s back! Also: another in-depth discussion of the cover! Does this book deserve to be more than just “the oatmeal” book? Planet Hollywood! Coincidences! Continuity! More coincidences! Nuthouses! Building a better tarantula scene! The story of poor, poor George Edelmen! Oatmeal! Rachel’s absence from her own plot! Mole morph! The Underground! All that and more in our review of Animorphs book 17, “The Underground.”

Leave a Comment

Animorphs: The Warning

Today on Thought-Speak: An explanation about the most recent hiatus, a revelation about Mitchell and Coleman’s other projects, 90’s internet lingo, more poop humor, infiltrating the WAA! HQ, the best scene with Jake’s family yet, another Animorphs mission gone wrong, lovely Yeerk cannibalism… All that and more in our review of Animorphs book 16, “The Warning.”

Leave a Comment

Animorphs: The Escape

In this episode we’re talking about when the Animorphs lose their innocence, building a better Animorphs video game, offensive parrots, Erek’s under-utilized hologram powers, Coming next fall from the makers of Thought-Speak… Dolphin Rodeo!, Ocean World, #sharkpetting, why the Yeerks need to stop shouting “Andalite!”, SPOILERS for Jaws 3, why this series should have been a little more like Spider-Man, Jake’s magical bully detector, how Tobias started riding Rachel, Marco’s power obsession, Animorphs VS. Predator, Visser 3’s opaque obsession, how another one of Cassie’s plans almost gets everybody killed, convenient brain implants, Visser 3’s giant yellow water snake, and how Jake became Marco’s rageaholic sponsor! All that and more in our review of Animorphs book 15, “The Escape.”

1 Comment

Animorphs: The Unknown

In this episode we’re talking about how much we miss Nate, how awesome our new opening and segue-ways are, getting tweeted at by Applegate + Grant, more making fun of the Scholastic marketing team, how ugly and wrong the cover is, another crazy theory about the Animorphs journals, Crazy Helen’s “Loco Weed?”, a uncharacteristic sci-fi reference overload, more arguing about how to split the series into “seasons”, how Marco gets away with being a dick all the time, Yeerks in horses, poop jokes!, toilet humor, and weird Animorphs fan fiction! All that and more in our review of Animorphs book 14, “The Unknown.”

Leave a Comment

Animorphs: The Change

In this episode we’re talking about how terrible the Animorphs TV show is, an announcement for next week’s special episode, we try out our Hork-Bajir accents, getting sexist about female Hork-Bajir, the political beef between Andalites and Hork-Bajir, the “something else” that’s in Tobias, how to tell a male Hork-Bajir from a female Hork-Bajir, and how Tobias gets his groove back! All that and more in our review of Animorphs book 13, “The Change.”